Meteors vs. God

Lila and Christie were in the car. Out of nowhere Lila said, "Mommy, why does Violet say that the Earth was made by meteors when it was actually made by God?"

Wheat

Christie was pushing Lila through the alcohol section of the grocery store today, and out of nowhere she yells, "It smells like weed in here."

Surprised, Christie said, "What?"

"It smells like weed in here!" Lila said again, way louder than she needed to say it.

"What are you talking about Lila? Something smells like weed?" Christie says, starting to notice people looking in their direction.

"Wheat! It smells like wheat in here," she repeated, as Christie finally understood. "Like a cracker."

Bigfoot

Lila and Violet were watching something on the iPad while we were on the drive to the inlaws house. She said, "Dad, if I catch a Bigfoot can we keep it as a pet?"

How can we say No to that?

Babies

"I think we need another baby," Lila told Christie.

"Are you saying you want me to have another baby?" Christie asked.

Lila said, "No, I want to have the baby!"

Dead Baby

Christie overhears Violet yelling at Lila from the other room. "Lila, I don't want to play 'Dead Baby' any more!"

"Why Vi-Vi?" Lila asks, unabated.

Christie goes into the room to see a naked Lila. "Lila, put your clothes on!"

"But I'm a baby!" Lila says.

Hope this morbid phase doesn't last too much longer. It doesn't jibe with Violet's world of fairies and happiness.

Princess?

"Daddy, I'm a princess," Lila told me as she was walking around covered in her big white fluffy blanket. 

"Nice, Lila," I said. "Which princess are you?"

Instead of the Jasmine or Tiana I expected to hear Lila said, "I'm a dead princess."

"What? You're what?"

"I'm a dead princess."

"Um, OK."

"Yeah, I'm a dead princess. I died in a fire."

Pretty morbid for a three year old. 

Baby Doctor?

Lila said, "Daddy there's lots of cities in this town."

I said, "Yeah. Those tall buildings are a hospital. Do you want to be a doctor and work there some day?"

"Yeah. And I'm gonna be a baby."

"A baby doctor?" I said.

"Yeah I'm gonna be a baby doctor."

"Nice," I said.

"And I'm gonna help people and I'm gonna drink their blood."

What?